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    August 22

    爱其实很难

       8月16号晚上7点半,一个人在成都火车站,我等待着...充满希望的等待再长我也觉得没什么.每次和他见面都要等,我已经习惯了这样的状况,在不耐烦的时候总是安慰自己:"他很忙,工作很辛苦,是我没法想象的,一定要站在他的立场想一想,多体谅别人,再等一下就来了".这一次我还是这样对自己说,时间慢慢的流逝,眼看就接近10点了,我还是没有放弃,发了一条短信给他____"过来不到?"____又继续等,因为他答应到时给外哦电话的,不停的看着手机,时间一分一分的过去,可惜,什么也没有发生,10点10分,我想他不会来了,就算来,也见不到了,因为时间已经来不及了,我不得不进入了候车室......火车终于启动了,我坐在位置上还在一遍一遍的看着手机,脑袋里不知道在想些什么,但我一直在想.回到家和朋友说起了他,说起了我和他之间的事情,她惊叹这也是爱情,我无言以对.爱情需要付出,需要信任,我努力做到这两点,在爱与被爱当中我选择爱,虽然这样自己会很累,但是我愿意,只要有一点点收获我也能满足,可是在我和他之间,我感受不到一点他的回应,自己好象真的很累......告诫自己不再去想,唯一的答案是这次的事他不主动道歉,那我们就此为止了.今天一打开QQ看到了他的留言,已经觉得不那么珍贵了,连短信都不发一条,只是在QQ上留上几句话,网络已经对语言进行了净化,除去了人的感情,我感觉不到他的真诚,这样的人很诚心吗?我很怀疑,但是我不争气的眼泪还是快要掉下来了,心情很复杂,突然好有想喝酒一醉方休的冲动,这是我第一次有喝酒的想法,看来我是进步了,可惜没人陪我.就坐在电脑前记下我所想的,至于我和他,不晓得是一个什么样的结局,我现在不愿去想,就一切随缘好了,只发现爱其实很难,不知不觉当中我发现自己已经累了......

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